he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
where does the pee come out of this thing
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
