So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
how drunk are you?
Several
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
