I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
