did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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