So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
