Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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