The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
