Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
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Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
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it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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