omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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