Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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