she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
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It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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