Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
