is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize