Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
