it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
