Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
