names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
