Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize