your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
