yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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