I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize