That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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