You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
