vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
