i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize