STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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