After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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