I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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