You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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