i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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