All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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