covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
