You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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