What a fucking waste of an outfit
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
