Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
