i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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