there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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