yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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