I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
