Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
