and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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