Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss

  (757): View more from Virginia

  So when are we having a sleepover?

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  (804): So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss (757): So when are we having a sleepover? http://tfl.nu/90ed
  Replies (24) Good night (6391) Bad night (666)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.

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  (816): Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete. http://tfl.nu/oev7
  Replies (20) Good night (4126) Bad night (1459)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours

  (816): View more from Missouri

  outstanding.

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  (816): and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like. (1-816): Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours (816): outstanding. http://tfl.nu/qtfw
  Replies (15) Good night (4426) Bad night (904)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics

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  (509): I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics http://tfl.nu/1cmu
  Replies (13) Good night (4835) Bad night (847)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.

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  (828): That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy. http://tfl.nu/c9sd
  Replies (18) Good night (4671) Bad night (1148)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.

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  (712): We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this. http://tfl.nu/g847
  Replies (16) Good night (3679) Bad night (999)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.

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  (250): He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS. http://tfl.nu/xkr3
  Replies (5) Good night (1014) Bad night (2531)
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  (631): View more from New York

  using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

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  (631): using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here. http://tfl.nu/lsdl
  Replies (5) Good night (1967) Bad night (687)
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  (209): View more from California

  Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!

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  (209): Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country! http://tfl.nu/zlp4
  Replies (8) Good night (2318) Bad night (540)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.

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  (308): The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it. http://tfl.nu/le1i
  Replies (5) Good night (548) Bad night (918)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  ..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.

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  (828): remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch. (1-828): ..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so. http://tfl.nu/n0v1
  Replies (8) Good night (1902) Bad night (564)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.

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  (843): I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning. http://tfl.nu/842q
  Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (303)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.

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  (817): I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday. http://tfl.nu/g52l
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (878)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."

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  (303): My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..." http://tfl.nu/535j
  Replies (5) Good night (1207) Bad night (351)
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  (858): View more from California

  He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone

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  (858): He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone http://tfl.nu/52cs
  Replies (8) Good night (1113) Bad night (246)

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