Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.

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  (205): but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule. http://tfl.nu/cjcr
  Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (616)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.

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  (601): they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell. http://tfl.nu/6mr7
  Replies (53) Good night (8075) Bad night (794)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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  (610): The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed. http://tfl.nu/1baq
  Replies (21) Good night (4352) Bad night (913)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.

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  (614): just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society. http://tfl.nu/uah3
  Replies (31) Good night (1562) Bad night (4104)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.

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  (845): Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name. http://tfl.nu/dkz5
  Replies (27) Good night (6846) Bad night (784)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!

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  (850): i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her! http://tfl.nu/mu36
  Replies (12) Good night (555) Bad night (3255)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina

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  (763): i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina http://tfl.nu/awuu
  Replies (30) Good night (1053) Bad night (7863)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets

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  (248): Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets http://tfl.nu/6e6g
  Replies (6) Good night (2904) Bad night (963)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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  (254): He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American http://tfl.nu/3hjs
  Replies (29) Good night (2812) Bad night (2187)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.

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  (253): May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon. http://tfl.nu/x8lc
  Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (1067)
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  (310): View more from California

  Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.

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  (310): Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN. http://tfl.nu/m6qh
  Replies (7) Good night (1127) Bad night (594)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Steaks?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Ash Wednesday.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?

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  (267): Steaks? (215): It's Ash Wednesday. (267): If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made? http://tfl.nu/8kzi
  Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (428)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.

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  (225): The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night. http://tfl.nu/csqe
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth

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  (301): I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth http://tfl.nu/jeme
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (615)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich

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  (201): And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich http://tfl.nu/6ewp
  Replies (0) Good night (372) Bad night (312)

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