So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
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Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
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If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER