u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Two words: nipple clamps
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