do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so let's talk penis.
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You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.