lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dating After Heartbreak
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country