It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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