fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize