Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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