and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize