So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
