i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
