bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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