I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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