dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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