HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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