I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
