it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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