it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
