i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
