if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
