My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
