we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
