I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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