Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
